Outsourcing Fast Food

Fast Food Reviews

Domino's Mac and Cheese Bread Bowl
Grade: C-
This turbo-carbed heart stopper, bubbling over with cheese and penne pasta, was everything we expected it to be. We commenced chowing our way through the center, which was stuffed with a satisfying, if not especially adventurous take on mac 'n cheese and eventually tore apart the puffy crust. No kid in the world could pass this up. Our recommendation -- cut the pie into four pieces and enjoy a small portion. Sure, you could skip the extra starches altogether and order it without the bread bowl, but where's the fun in that?

McCafe Iced Mocha and Latte
Grade: A
One sip and we were hooked. A nonfat iced mocha loaded up with whipped cream was quite potent, with a strong aroma of Arabica coffee beans. To be honest, if we had been blindfolded, we wouldn't have been able to tell the difference between a Starbucks chiller and these eye-openers. They don't escape without some criticism; decaf is not currently an option. Lattes are, however, available with a shot of vanilla, caramel, hazelnut or sugar-free vanilla.

Wendy's Hand-Spun Twisted Frosty
Grade: A+
The Hand-Spun Twisted Frosty is perfection, and here's why: Most candied shakes only blend in one or two teaspoons of toppings (see: McFlurry). The Twisted Frosty, however, does not scrimp. They swirl in obscene amounts of toppings - nearly a 50-50 ratio of ice cream and candy, and the resulting maelstrom of flavor is all we've ever wanted from a candied shake. It's like drinking liquid Oreo! (Also available in equally delicious M&M and Nestle Toll House Cookie Dough.)

Rachel Been, AOL

Wendy's Hand-Spun Frosty Shakes
Grade: D
Wendy's, purveyor of the illustrious Frosty, has recently introduced two new varieties of their famous milkshake: The Hand-Spun Frosty Shake and the Hand-Spun Twisted Frosty.

Now, we love Frosty original. Its unparalleled vanilla-chocolatey thickness is the yardstick by which we measure all other fast food milkshakes. That said, these Hand-Spun Frostys are a downgrade. They start with a teeth-itchingly sweet vanilla Frosty base, then swirl in strawberry syrup (which tastes like Robitussin) or chocolate syrup (which tastes decidedly inferior to Frosty classic).

Next: Wendy's Hand-Spun Twisted Frosty

Rachel Been, AOL

McDonald's Filet-O-Fish
Grade: B
Remember the last time you ordered one of these? Neither could McD's, so they've whipped up a whole new wave of ads for their classic fishwich -- which so far as we could tell hasn't changed a bit in the decade or two since we'd downed one. The fried fish block melds softly into the featureless cheese slice, generous blob of tartar sauce and mushy bun with little to no variance in flavor or texture. Weirdly enough, this isn't a bad thing, but rather somehow comforting -- as if time had stood still. Now where's a McDLT when you need one?


Rachel Been

Wendy's Premium Fish Fillet Sandwich
Grade: B-
"Oh, it's made with real fish, right?" parroted just about everyone we polled. The ad campaign sure is working, but upon first bite our question is -- why make a big splash about real fish if it's not really good fish? The fillet we sampled was decently seasoned, but rather toughly breaded, stringy and swiped with a stingy bit of overly astringent tartar sauce. We applaud the effort, but this sandwich is gonna need some more schooling if it wants to swim with the big guys.


Rachel Been

Burger King Angry Whopper
Grade: A (if you're a chilehead) / F (if you can't take the heat)
Woah, BK -- simmer down now! What did our poor, innocent mouths (and digestive systems) ever do to you? With eight thick, unseeded slices of jalapeno, and very little else to soften the sting, this burger is more like a fraternity hazing than an item actually meant for human consumption. The little nibbles of bacon, fried "angry" onions and sweet "angry" onion sauce we managed before our tongues got their keisters whupped were holding hands and singing Kumbaya in comparison. Once the peppers muscled their way in it was impossible to concentrate on anything but the pain they packed. Even for a few hardcore chile lovers, it proved impossible to eat without an asbestos tongue. Seriously, BK, can't you enroll them in a yoga class? Spa retreat, perhaps?


Rachel Been

Wendy's Buffalo Dipped Chicken Sandwich
Grade: F
A fried chicken patty meets a sickly, stinging, neon orange sweet-and-sour sauce in a sandwich we wouldn't inflict on our worst enemy. One puckery, cloying bite scorched the throats of the testers and caused at least one to skip dinner that night. The taste of the chicken? We wouldn't know, because it was so completely overpowered, but it sure wasn't anything we'd call "Buffalo."

Keith Morrison

Burger King Mushroom and Swiss Steakhouse Burger
Grade: A-
After another burger chain's venture into mushroom-swiss terrain left our palates scarred, we were hesitant to sample another. But holy shrieking 'shrooms, were we glad we did! An intensely savory slathering of Worcestershire balanced a sweet kiss of BBQ sauce, and also seemed to nix the rubbery texture factor that plagues most mushroom-topped fast food. Swiss cheese and crisped-up onion were just barely visually evident, and played little to no role in the overall flavor. No matter -- that tasty meat slab totally ruled.

Keith Morrison

McDonald's Southwest Chicken Salad
Grade: B+
When we told our photographer this robust salad was from McDonald's, he nearly dropped his lens cap. Save for a few Titanic-sized chunks of lettuce core, vegetables (including roasted corn and tomatoes, tender, savory black beans and poblano peppers) held shockingly pleasant flavor and freshness, making for an appealing texture contrast with crunchy, zesty chili-lime tortilla strips and shreds of cheddar jack. We opted for the crispy chicken (the same well-seasoned patty used for their new Southern Style Chicken Biscuit and Sandwich), but a grilled cilantro-lime glazed version is also available. Additional dressing is eater-administered via a lime wedge and packet of Newman's Own Southwest Dressing.

We hope the folks at McD's are feeling their ears burn in the same pleasing way ours were after scarfing down this fiery and flavorful salad. More like this, please!

Nathan Ellis Perkel